Influencing Human Behavior - How to avoid taking out the trash

Influencing Human Behavior - How to avoid taking out the trash

By Kevin Hogan

You're laughing already, aren't you? Remember when you were a kid? And your chore included having to take the trash out? And you didn't want to... So what did you do?

"Mom! I have a tummy ache!"

That's a pretty clever influence technique.

And what was her response?

"Sure Kevin...."

What is that called in influence and persuasion terms?

That is the category of Conflicting. Conflicting is one of the biggest and really varied categories within non-verbal comm behavior. When you tell your friend the cake she baked, "It's delicious, honey," (verbal), but your eyes actually darted away (non-verbal). You were just demonstrating conflicting.

Conflicting body language is a bright, flashing indicator when you lie, feel nervous, disagree, or otherwise feel trapped or ambivalent about something. When verbal and non-verbal elements are in conflict, the person receiving the communication will usually give more credibility to the non-verbal behavior.

Now here is how mom KNOWs. Here is how she will detect deception in influence and persuasion. We will interpret conflicting information based in part on how easy or hard it is to fake the particular non-verbal behavior. So when the child says she has that tummy ache. Her mom? She knows. She knows already that the actual body language of a tummy ache is pretty difficult “fake.” She's going to show pale color, clammy skin, and perhaps a fever or general discomfort for an extended period of time. So while most parents will be skeptical from the start, "Mom...", they will start to believe her when it becomes clear her non-verbal behaviors are real based on her genunine body language of stomachache symptoms. And that influence is rapid.

For The Complete Home Study Science of Influence Program