If they perceive YOU as argumentative, ask, "How can I present counter examples and other points of view to you so that you are not offended and your feelings are not hurt?"
* The argumentative communicator always needs to be right.
* A.C. wants to defeat their opponent as if the dining room, the bedroom (a really stupid place to create negative anchors!), the boardroom is a courtroom where only one person can "win."
* This doesn't mean to stop disagreeing or intellectually pursuing what is good and right. It is very important to make sure those we have discussions with do not feel attacked.
***Critical: You and I both know that people take possession of ideas as if they are one's identity.
==> If people's ideas and verbalized thoughts are always experienced at the level of one's identity, then all debate will become perceived as fighting or arguing. Therefore, when this pattern of communication erupts, separate the idea from the person.